PART 1
Do you remember that song from Freda Payne 'Bring the Boys Home' I understood she was talking about the Vietnam War. But I am talking about the war against our boys. Our generation of young intellegent boys who are being raised by mothers who sometimes are preoccupied with their own issues, such as boyfriends who don't care about them, multiple baby daddies, mother and fathers that are not in their own lives, and some are children themselves. So what do we do about this? Can we ever regain the importance of our boys? Do they understand their importance in the role that they play in the dynamics of the family? These questions need to be answered by them.
I am talking about this from a mother of a black man's perspective, raising my son as a single parent was far from easy especially when trying to serve my country which that alone was a task in itself. My choices of moving from place to place in and out of the country at times leaving him behind with his grandmother. Do you think there was some resentment because we always had to move around he had to change schools and change friends. I guess you think that he had it going on. Well, you can be suffering from poverty not only nutritionally, emotionally and mentally. I was only trying to make sure that I could take care and I will admit some things were over looked when it came to paying close attention to some of his needs.
But I did make sure that my son was taken care to the best of my ability. That is our main problem, we get stuck on our ability. It almost sounds like a cop out or a justification of why our boys are the way they are good or bad. We become complacent or satisfied that we are not doing all that we can do to make sure that our boys have the resources in their life to make the want to be productive citizens.
This is not for all our boys raised in single parent homes. Because as you know, a lot of very important men were raised in a home of one parent.
I don't want to stray far from the initial reason I wrote this post.
CAN WE EVER REGAIN THE IMPORTANCE OF OUR BOYS TO OUR HERITAGE?
Bring the boys home. We need to start by allowing the fathers back into their lives. Keeping your boys away from their fathers is not a good idea, despite how you feel about the father your opinions or feelings toward him should not interfere with the relationship.
Let him make that decision whether or not he wants to spend time with his father. Let his father tell him why he doesn't want to be part of his life. Stop preventing two generations of our men from being as one, keep in mind they are already designed to be divided by society because of the fear they have of the black man. Let's stop allowing others to dictate how the relationships of our men and boys are created. We are no experts with relationships so how do we have the audacity to decide whether they can have a relationship with their fathers.
I can't remember a time when my son couldn't visit his father I don't recall ever telling him he couldn't see his son even though we weren't together. If he choose not to be part of his life then I left that to his conscious to deal with.
To regain the importance we need to start from birth, as you know, according to the book written by Jawanza Kunjufu ' Countering the Conspiracy To Destroy Black Boys Vol III' " Black boys lead black girls in infant immortality, this is where the male shortage begins.
So how to we counteract this tragedy?
Properly taking care of the female body while in her pregnancy this includes pre natal care, proper rest, nutritional values, making sure that during this time no drinking or smoking nothing impure in the body where it can affect the baby.
When baby arrives we need to make sure the baby is being taking care, physically, mentally and emotionally.
The most important time in our boys lives in between the ages three to six. This is the time the brain of the child is being developed.
So if we start from this age, and we understand that this is crucial to the development of our boys how do we begin to make sure this happens. Once we accomplish this mission we must continue to give him that love and attention and the nurturing we are supposed to.
Then we need to allow positive male influence to step in and become that role model for those boys.
I know all of this is easier said than done but we need to start somewhere. I know there are so many black males who are willing to become mentors to a little boy or two.
Teaching that boy about his true history will be another way to make sure he is strong when it comes to the knowledge of his people. Letting him understand his role I think will be a big plus in their journey to man hood.
I can't remember a time when my son couldn't visit his father I don't recall ever telling him he couldn't see his son even though we weren't together. If he choose not to be part of his life then I left that to his conscious to deal with.
To regain the importance we need to start from birth, as you know, according to the book written by Jawanza Kunjufu ' Countering the Conspiracy To Destroy Black Boys Vol III' " Black boys lead black girls in infant immortality, this is where the male shortage begins.
So how to we counteract this tragedy?
Properly taking care of the female body while in her pregnancy this includes pre natal care, proper rest, nutritional values, making sure that during this time no drinking or smoking nothing impure in the body where it can affect the baby.
When baby arrives we need to make sure the baby is being taking care, physically, mentally and emotionally.
The most important time in our boys lives in between the ages three to six. This is the time the brain of the child is being developed.
So if we start from this age, and we understand that this is crucial to the development of our boys how do we begin to make sure this happens. Once we accomplish this mission we must continue to give him that love and attention and the nurturing we are supposed to.
Then we need to allow positive male influence to step in and become that role model for those boys.
I know all of this is easier said than done but we need to start somewhere. I know there are so many black males who are willing to become mentors to a little boy or two.
Teaching that boy about his true history will be another way to make sure he is strong when it comes to the knowledge of his people. Letting him understand his role I think will be a big plus in their journey to man hood.
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